Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Road Fairy

As I've mentioned before, we live in sticksville.  There are no street lamps, there are no sidewalks and the roads don't have shoulders. Or love handles.  Ha!  that was a joke.  These are the roads upon which  I run and walk the dogs. (trying to sound all "Days of our Lives" there)

In the years we've been living here, we and our dogs have found some moderately entertaining things in the local ditches.  How do they get there?  I suspect a Road Fairy.  Who else would leave a pizza or sandwiches for my pups?  (totally true, and they were very thankful)

Other items we've found along the road include and apparently aren't limited to:

Underwear.
Really?  Were you fooling around by the lake and just "forgot" to put your underwear back on?   Or were the cops chasing you and you threw them out the window as a deterrent?  Did it work?  We totally left them in the ditch in the event you want to return to get them.  They're all yours.  Just saying'...

One North Face Glove.
Dear Roadside Fairy, I like North Face gloves.  If you'd like to leave them for me, I'm a women's size large and I prefer a pair as I currently still have two hands.  Thank you.

Dog Food Bags.
The pups love these.  I always wonder what ferocious critter could be living in side them.  So far, nothing other than a stray piece of kibble.  Lucky for me, bummer for the dogs.  They like critters.

Liquor Bottles.
Looks like the Road Fairy is a booze hound.  I wonder if this might be the explanation to the underwear in the ditch? Stranger things have happened.

Not cool Mr. Road Fairy
I'm just assuming it's a Mr.  not a Mrs.
A Mrs. would have picked these up!


A Big Honking Feather.
 I suspect it's from an eagle (we have both bald and golden around here) or it's from an even more super rare feathered  pterodactyl.  It's so cool I took it home.  Besides, who else has one of these? (other than pterodactyl breeders)



Mailboxes.
Ok, probably not a product of the Road Fairy.  Probably a result the local snow plow, and most likely the bane of postal carriers everywhere.  How can you be happy when you find your mailbox in the ditch??  Yeah, that's what I thought....

I can tell you what the Road Fairy hasn't left us.
He hasn't left us a winning PowerBall ticket.  If you're reading this Mr. Road Fairy, Please-feel free to hook us up!  Any time is good.  No, really, any time now, I'm totally serious....   :)

3 comments:

  1. We have no Road Fairies here...I guess that's the bum luck of living in town. Hope you get that winning PowerBall ticket :)

    ReplyDelete
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  3. Hahaha! You're hilarious!

    5 bottles of liquor?? Really??? That's like more than our local bar would go through in 3 months.

    ReplyDelete

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