Sunday, January 8, 2012

Hitting the Wall

I did it.  I hit the wall.  Actually, it was more like spinning down a dark vortex and crashing head first into a brick wall with as much momentum as humanly possible.  That'd be me right now.   Just an FYI an impact like that makes an awful noise.

Not the actual wall I hit. 

I hurt.  My leg freaking hurts.  It's no ones fault but my own.  This stupid half marathon.  Actually, I can't even blame it.  I didn't randomly get signed up.  I signed up on purpose.  But as I hobbled through my twelve miles yesterday I realized that this isn't my dream.  It's my friend's dream.  I just made it my goal.  'Cause that's what I do.  Obsess, get competitive and set goals.  There are worse things in life than a goal now and then isn't there?

Either way, this week has been more painful than pain free.  I hate pain.  I'm a wimp.  It's annoying.  I'm sure Mr. P was glad he was out of town this weekend.  I'm glad he was out of town too, for his sake.  Because even though I can't navigate the stairs nicely, I'd be able to lash out at him somehow.    I have that kind of skill.

My biggest fear is that I won't be able to run my dogs in our upcoming competitions.  Fear makes me angry.  Angry at myself for putting me in this situation.  If it was a question of my dog's health, I wouldn't even think twice and would pull in a heart beat.  Their well being is more important than any race or competition.  Hands down.  Why is it that a different set of rules applies to myself?

I'm sure I'm not the only person that has had this happen.  What do you do when you hit a wall?

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